Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
