you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
