if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
