direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
