she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
