He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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