she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
