Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
