So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
