This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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