u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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