Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
