there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
