how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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