There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize