I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
