Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
