apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
sex in a hospital.. check
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
