also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My vagina just recognized that song.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
