ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
