Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
