Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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