Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
