He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
