Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
