sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
