And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
