Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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