Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
