Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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