Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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