I want to stick my p in your. b.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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