Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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