Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
