literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
