super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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