I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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