Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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