My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize