who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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