Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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