I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
