whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
