STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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