I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
