the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
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got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
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At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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