the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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