You're a womanizer and a bitch.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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