You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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