nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
