I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
