SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
