Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
