take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
