so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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