operation harelip BJ is a go
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
