margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
MIDGETS
????
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
