He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
