i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
