You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
