Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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