At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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