would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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