On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
