I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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