allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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