she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
